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rareflower
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Country: Canada
Gender: Female
Interests: hiking, camping, paddling, XC skiing, reading, writing, playing piano and guitar, composing, seeing foreign films, hanging out with friends
Expertise: thinking and thinking and spinning and spinning
Occupation: Computer related
Industry: Engineering
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/9/2003
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| I wrote a song in the April timeframe which I hope has successfully encapsulated my observations of the cycle of hurt which I think Christian author and psychologist Larry Crabb's so profoundly first encapsulated as, "We are sinned against, and we sin." I observe it everywhere: everytime I ride the bus from downtown Edmonton or the transit centre near where I used to go to school (in a not-so-nice part of town) and overhear the conversations going on amongst the young people; when I read or watch the news, attempting to find an explanation for the horrific acts going on around me -- murder, child abuse, sexual abuse; and even in the midst of my own life -- people in my life who act inexplicably, who act angrily, who lash out; and even in the darkness I sometimes see in my own heart. I don't know how to stop it by myself. A million well-planned social programs wouldn't stop it (though it would be a start). A better justice system, a better mental-health system would also be a good start, but wouldn't stop it either. I know that only the supernatural healing of the Holy Spirit and the transformational "new-man"-ing of being in Christ can break this cycle. Because, I believe, this is only way that real, true, lasting change can actually happen. Everything else is just an act of will and will therefore eventually end as we return to our nature or how we've been trained to (re)act. I know this is something only Jesus can really change for good. But I also know, deep in my very human, very "but they don't deserve my grace!" heart, that I have a role here too -- in extending grace, like Christ did, even if/when/though they don't actually deserve it ... and even when they hurt me. This extension of grace is partially an act of will and partially a result of what I believe to be the Holy Spirit's change in me -- that I would even consider extending grace; that in my quieter moments, I'd grieve the moments that I react defensively and selfishly, and ask God to help me be like Christ in my reaction to them. My response, too, is tempered by the Holy Spirit's work in my heart, in how He has changed my very nature.
These are the lyrics. A recording from a live performance of this song is available on my music player on the right-hand side of my Wiki page. I'll post a YouTube video link of my performance of this song (and update this entry) when I get my hands on the footage. Child of War
words and music copyright 2009 Julie Leung Daddy was never loving,
he slit her with his razor tongue.
And mommy, weak and small,
only watched on while it stung. She opened her arms to be held,
but they wrapped her in barbed wire.
All her life, she's been caged --
a refugee trapped from the trust she desires. She's a child of war, right here in your midst.
She's starving in this shantytown;
she bleeds everytime she's dismissed.
Now, everyone's the enemy 'cuz she's at war,
and poised to strike,
but inside, her heart races in a blur.
She's just a prisoner to her nerves.
She's a child of war,
she's a child of war
War ... She's been searching for a place to belong,
driven by the pangs of an empty soul.
She rushes at you desperately through the wire,
and suffocates you as she tries to make herself whole. Her need so deep, it can never be filled,
she'll blame you for what she lacks.
Her machine gun rage shoots you full of holes;
history repeats as she attacks. Now that you see into her darkness,
see the depth of night,
will you call a truce
and help her stop this fight? Look beyond the frenzied panic
and the bouts of anger,
and though your first instinct is to fight back,
will you surrender? Indeed. Will I surrender? Will you? | | |
| Here's a new ambient song offering from me. I hope it makes you feel relaxed and groovy ...
I'm quite behind on posting much of my latest instrumental composition and songwriting but this one was easy to mix, convert and get up to ReverbNation. Enjoy!
Listen to "Mellow" (5:12)
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| While in my songwriting class on Thursday, just before our final concert which was put on last night, we were talking about all our songs and trying to set an order. After we got the titles up on the board, we went through and labelled their genres. Some were labelled "metal", others "reggae" or "ska", and still others "folk". When we got to my two songs, I said they were "folk rock". My songwriting teacher took looked up and said decisively, "I would say they're A.C." I looked at him blankly. "You mean, A-Coustic?, I asked. "No," he said flatly, "Adult Contemporary".
Adult Contemporary? He thinks my songs fit in the genre of the cheesy adult contemporary? Say it ain't so! To me, growing up, adult contemporary was the sting of death. It was the muzak that played in the elevator, or Judy Collins decades past her cool folky roots. It was, to my childhood ears, "Old people music" ... or anything that had gone past its prime -- perhaps once in the popular sphere, and now a little older and less edgy, less cool. Folk and Folk Rock is at least still cool -- it was and still is the music of protest, of non-conformity, of change. It is artist music. But AC? Isn't it just "nice sounding" music that's really not so hip or cool? Sigh.
Then I got to thinking about who else currently is in the adult contemporary genre and what radio stations I listen to, and whether they play adult contemporary. I realized I wasn't in bad company and that artists that I like, like Sarah McLaughlin, Phil Collins, Chantal Kreviazuk and even some Jason Mraz is in the adult contemporary realm. And the station 104.9 (EZ Rock) in Edmonton and 95.9 (Music 96) in Calgary -- stations that I listen to -- play that type of music and are stations I'd welcome my songs to be on. OK, maybe it wasn't so bad and "AC" was where I belonged.
So over the last few days, and particularly last night before the concert, I told my friends the funny story about being labelled "AC". When I mentioned this to a friend last night just before the curtains opened, she said, "Well, at least you'd be played on EZ Rock and not Magic 99 yet!" Magic 99 is a Rawlco-owned station which, much as I love Rawlco the corporation for their ardent, purposeful support of the music scene in Alberta, actually plays music more on the extreme side of easy listening. I've heard Paul Anka's larger-than-life-you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me-that-he's-serious rock-songs-turned-swing-tunes offerings on there (an example: Paul Anka covers Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in all seriousness). (By the way, I am having a debate with my husband as I am writing this and listening to Paul Anka in the background. I can barely keep my breakfast down, but he says he thinks it's quite clever). I heard the old 70's song "Lookin Out for Number One" by Bachman Turner Overdrive just a few weeks ago. And while Randy Bachman is a fabulous and iconic guitar player and writer (and this song was ultra-cool when it came out in the 70's), you've got to agree with me that this song being part of your regular playlist in 2009 says something about the easy-listening-on-steroids format of your radio station.
We played the concert and afterwards, I was out in the lobby with my friends. A couple of my peers came up and told me they loved my songs and particularly my 2nd song, which was a newly-introduced song with more of a social statement. Then, as we were starting to leave the lobby, an older lady came up to me and touched both my and my husband's arms (hubby was playing piano in my band) and said, "You both did so well tonight. I really enjoyed your music and I am looking forward to hearing it one day on 99.3!"
That's Magic 99!
I smiled at her and thanked her graciously while enjoying a small smirk to myself. After all, a fan is a fan, and I am always truly touched (and a little surprised) when people like my music enough to tell me. Perhaps one day I'll be played alongside the likes of Mr. Paul Anka on radio! Any radio! Life could be worse. :)
(I'll post video clips of my performance and interview soon ...)
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| It's snowing ... AGAIN!?
Yesterday was the first day of spring and I wandered around the City Hall square last night in relative comfort. Most of the snow had melted and it was warm-ish.
This morning I wake up to wet snow. Lots of it. We just got stuck in the car in front of the house and had to be pushed out by our neighbour.
Every winter I think, "This winter is going to kill me. I will not survive." And then I do. But my nerves are wearing thin. When will it END?!!!
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